no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
