Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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