After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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