we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
