All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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