I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
