he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
