She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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