pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
