I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
