Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
