I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
