She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
