Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
