you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Drunk is not a location!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize