Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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