Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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