I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
