is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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