Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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