god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
