you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
