I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
