make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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