I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
