i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
