Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
