theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
