i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
