she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
