I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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