Will you blow on my dice?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
