How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think my vagina is haunted
I hope mine doesn't look like that
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
