well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
