hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
