I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
did i just pee glitter
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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