Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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