He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
