He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
