Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
