It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
