If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
