Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
