Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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(818): View more from California

Everything about him screamed your future.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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(443): View more from Maryland

We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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(360): View more from Washington

i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.

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(813): View more from Florida

Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule

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(720): View more from Colorado

You peed on a flamingo?!?

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