I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
BRING THE BAGELS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
