giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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