Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
