College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
