you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
