Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
