Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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