i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
