May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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