I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
