you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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