he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
