just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize