Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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