i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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