i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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