"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
