you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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