How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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