dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm too high and old for this...
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