You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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